We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
