That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My pussy is not your playground.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
