I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
