I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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