ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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