i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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