dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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