Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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