Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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