I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Randomize
