gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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