"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
