And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
