I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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