im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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