youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
