it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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