also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
