was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
