Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
