Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
