This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
