Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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