he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
