Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
