seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
