omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
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My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You need a sexual gate keeper
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
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So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Ladies don't puke and tell
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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