Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
