Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
