it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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