operation harelip BJ is a go
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
