Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
