I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
