oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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