This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
