i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
you win again, gameday.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
