My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
