Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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