The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she peed on how many people?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
