new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
No stitches, just platelets and will power
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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