Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
