Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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