I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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