it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
