i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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