So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
