fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
He kissed a someone with a penis
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
