You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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