who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
