Are we in a gay sports bar?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
