I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I hate all girls vehemently.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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