Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize