everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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