im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
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