Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
