There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Someone came in the potted fern
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I think my moral compass just broke
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
