420 ftw
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
