he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
