I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Watching her eat just hurts me
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
