I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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