If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
