You're a womanizer and a bitch.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
